Christmas is For the Kids

Toys galore in every store

Visits with Santa

Sleigh rides and more

Happy children all around

Christmas is for the kids.

Photo albums and memories of Christmases past

Drinking cocoa and cider, lost in the nostalgia

Because Christmas, after all, is for the kids.

But some memories are painful

For some, “Joy to the World” is nowhere to be found

“Peace on Earth” is more of a great sentiment

And not a reality

Oh well - Christmas is for the kids.

But what if there’s more?

What if the carols have a deeper meaning?

What if Christmas is not just for the kids?

The God of the universe became human

Our Creator took the form of a humble infant

If anyone is worthy of a golden bejeweled cradle, it is the Lord

Instead, He was placed in a feeding trough

So that we might have life

This Christmas gift is for everyone.

He Says My Name

I don't really have a clever quote or inspirational scripture with which to start things out this time. I tend to be a "go with the flow" type writer, but I feel like I have even less to work with this time. Therefore, this will probably be a shorter post than usual, but it is something that I have been doing a lot of thinking and study on lately.

One of my favorite characters in the Bible (besides Jesus, of course) is Peter. Peter who denied Jesus three times, Peter. After Jesus had risen, Peter was allowed three times to redeem himself and prove his love for the Lord. Peter was also among the first to see the risen Savior. I believe Jesus specifically called Peter by name to ordinate this.

I identify with Peter so much. His love for his Lord was sincere, but he denied Jesus to protect himself. I love Jesus wholeheartedly, and I like to think that if I was told to deny Christ or be killed, that I would stand strong and die for the faith, but that promise is really difficult to make unless I am actually in that situation. Regardless, God knows my heart, and he says my name. That's grace.

Change your thinking - Change your life!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me - practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.  -Philippians 4:8, 9

The title of this blog post is very reminiscent of those self help books your aunt may have kept on the shelf and never read, but those books make me very uncomfortable. While I believe many such books are well-intentioned, they miss the point. (Perhaps that is the point - giving you advice that works only temporarily so you have to buy more books. But isn't that the definition of insanity? Trying the same thing over and over expecting different results? Hmm...) Most of these self-help books attempt to help the reader find happiness - and often it does work - but happiness is fleeting. What these books cannot give you is joy - permanent joy.

If you have been in church at all, you probably know that true joy does not exist outside of Christ. But why? More importantly, how? Is there some magical moment when I get saved that all my troubles go away and I'm happy? Not likely. After I get saved, will I suddenly be able to see and trust God's plan in all of my problems? You're getting warmer, but you're not there yet. You're still missing the why. What is it about the Christian life that lets believers rejoice in the midst of their pain? One of the best examples of joy in the midst of suffering is Job. Job was clearly depressed (for good reason) and, in chapter 3, even lamenting his very birth, but through it all, he was able to say "blessed be the name of the Lord" (1:21).

But that still doesn't tell me how. I know that God has a plan, but I feel guilty for not seeing it. What's more, I feel guilty about feeling guilty. Been there. I know what is true; I even believe it, but it is still so easy to let fear and doubt control my life. I know that I have hope when I feel hopeless, but I still can't shake this hopeless feeling. My focus isn't always in the right place. One of my favorite movies is Patch Adams. While in a mental hospital, Patch encounters a fellow patient who holds up four fingers and asks "how many fingers do you see?" This seems like a silly question, because he is clearly holding up four fingers, but his explanation is very wise: "If you're focused on the problem, you can't see the solution." To someone who does not understand, I imagine it might look something like this:

So are you saying I just need to ignore my problems? Well, not exactly. I'm saying that you should focus less on your problems and more on the God who is ultimately in control. Take your concerns to God. Tell Him that you are worried. Acknowledge that He is in control, but expressing your fears and doubts is true intimacy with God.

CREATOR creates creators

Destroy the idea that you gotta be good at artistic things to enjoy them, that every hobby has to be something you're so good at, you can monetize it.

A capitalist lie.

Sing offkey, draw poorly, write badly. Life is meant to be enjoyed, not monetized. You're not a product.

-Tumblr user @bookavid, 2019

One of the foundational truths of the Christian life is that we are created in the image of God (therefore, contrary to the above quote, we technically are a product, but the Tumblr user was presumably not trying to make that point). Have you ever thought about what that really means? You have probably reminded others (or yourself) that they are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God when they (or you) are feeling down and suffering from a lack of self-confidence, and sure, it is certainly a reminder to be confident in who God created us to be, but who did God create us to be? This verse (Genesis 1:27 to be exact) implies that we cannot know who we are until we know who God is.

The verse says that God created man in His image. God is Creator. We were created to create. Does that mean we have to be "good" at the things we create? "Good" is such a subjective term. The Veggie Tales episode "A Snoodle's Tale" is particularly good at illustrating this. And see, I think it's good; other people may not. But I digress. The snoodle did not know where he came from or what his gifts (paints, a kazoo, wings) were for. Then he met the one who created him and who gave him these things. At first, he did not know who this large snoodle was, but this became clear when He said "But I know who you are, for I made you." A few moments later, the small snoodle showed the large snoodle a picture of flowers that he painted. The picture was nothing more than a few colorful brush strokes that might look like flowers if you squint your eyes, tilt your head, and use your imagination, but the large snoodle was pleased with this painting simply because it was created by His creation, whom He was proud of.

I hesitate to call myself an artist because I'm not that good, but I love creating. Music, short movies, photography, painting, poetry (or prose): I think it's amazing to be able to make something that has never existed. And I am (usually, to some extent anyway) proud of my work. But if I can be proud of the happy little accidents I call art, how much more is God, the perfect Creator, proud of us, His masterpiece?

Response to Pessimistic

I have struggled with depression for most of my life. My struggle became worse when I turned 14. My teenage years were so much more than awkward. Throughout high school, I carried a notebook around with me and wrote poetry. Inevitably, my depression was evident in my work. One poem, aptly titled "Pessimistic" is especially memorable. I wrote it during my freshman year of high school. I had gone to the same school from kindergarten until eighth grade, so high school was my first time going to a new school. It should have been a fresh start. Unfortunately, it was not. The depression that began when I was a 7 year old on the playground, calling herself stupid because that's what other people said about her, and became worse when I was a 14 year old crying in the lunch line because people were still mean, followed me to high school. The work was not much harder than it had been in middle school, but with the added pressures of more classes throughout the day with more people (and newfound social media sites), depression seemed inescapable, and I wanted to die.

This poem is one of many that I wrote at one of my lowest points. While my suicidal thoughts were not explicitly stated in this particular poem, if someone I loved were to write this poem and show me, I would be seriously concerned for their life. My battle with depression followed me to college and is something I still struggle with to this day, but I am realizing that the things I have been saying to myself for nearly 20 years are lies straight from Satan. For so long, I have allowed him to drown out the truth that the Holy Spirit tells me, but I am learning to listen for the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit and use it to face the lies Satan screams in my face. So, several years ago, remembering the poem I had written in high school, I decided to write how I thought God would respond to every dark thought expressed in the poem.

My sins scribbled on my forehead

For the world to see;

Who could love me?

Every mistake I've made 

Comes back to haunt me;

Who will accept me?

The poison of rejection has made me ill;

My past, a knife that has stabbed my heart.

I'm searching for acceptance 

In a world that is against me;

How long until my search is over?

I'm worn out and tired 

Of making futile attempts at finding a friend.

All I've ever hoped for, 

Now thrown away.

The ugliness of rejection is all that shows.

Rejected, and this pencil and paper are all I have --

My only friends in a dark world of hurt and pain.

Uninvited, 

And I can't take anymore.

The lonely tears I cry are ignored 

By teasing laughter.

My life will be a secret, 

Lived for only me to see.

This gloomy raincloud of regret hovers over me,

And all I can do 

Is write.
  

When your sins are scribbled on your forehead

For the world to see,

I still love you.

When every mistake you've made

Comes back to haunt you,

I will accept you.

The poison of rejection has made you ill;

Your past seems like a knife that has stabbed your heart.

You have been searching for acceptance

In a world that is against you;

Your search is now over.

You're worn out and tired,

But I give you rest.

All you've ever hoped for

Can be found in Me.

Now the beauty of acceptance is all that shows.

You are Mine, and I am all you need.

Call on Me when your world is dark.

I invite you in;

You don't have to fight anymore.

I have heard your cry;

What took you so long to cry to Me?

Your life was never a secret;

I saw every moment.

I welcome you in with open arms

And I call you

My child.

Job Never Knew

Everybody knows the Biblical story of Job, right? Okay, maybe not everybody, but if you grew up in church or went to a Christian school as I did, chances are, it came up. In the first chapter of the book of Job, Satan claims that Job's faithfulness and righteousness have been dependent on God's blessings. Satan claims that Job would surely curse God if God were to take away the blessings from Job's life. God considers this and allows Satan to test Job, so long as Job himself is not touched. I have always found comfort in this part of the story (Job 1:12) - Satan cannot do anything to us unless God allows him, and God has our best interest in mind, right? I still find comfort in that verse, but I also have a new perspective: after more study, I realized that Job never found out why God allowed such suffering.

The book of Job consists of much "back-and-forth" between Job, God, and the "miserable comforters" who tell Job that he deserves to suffer even more than he already is. Job questions, but it is never revealed to Job why this pain fell upon him. Some might take this to mean that we can't question God - because we know the end of the story - but I would say that the whole point is that we can question. Our questioning does not change the outcome, nor does it make God love us less, but we are free to wonder why there is so much pain in our world. We can have faith that God is for us and will never leave us nor forsake us, but should we doubt, God is right there waiting to pick us up. We don't have to start over from square one every time we mess up - we would never get anywhere.

I want to leave you with a verse from a song. I am not going to post an audio or video clip (you can look it up on YouTube if you want; the song is called "Oh Heart Bereaved and Lonely" by Leigh Nash), but one verse in particular has given me comfort through my doubting periods:

Oh cling to thy redeemer: thy savior, brother friend

Believe and trust his promise to keep you ‘til the end

Oh watch and wait with patience, and question all you will

His arms of love and mercy are ‘round about thee still

Divided We Fall

Within the span of 24 hours, America has lost 30 individuals, with at least 53 more injured, in two separate mass shootings. The nation is divided, with some arguing for stricter gun control, and others arguing that guns are not the problem; a lack of concern for others is. I am not here to argue either of these points. But why must we be divided right now? Certainly, there is a problem in America, and these incidents can serve as talking points when it is time to discuss change, but now is not the time to be divided.

We must not let these differences stand in the way of acknowledging the humanity of the lives lost. Thirty humans that will never again experience the joy of playing on a playground or watching their children do so. Never again get to laugh at a funny joke or cringe at a cheesy one. Thirty lives cut short by senseless violence fueled by hate.

One of the beautiful things about America is that it is a place to have different views come to the table. Different experiences. Different political views. We can learn a lot just by listening to one another. But at the end of the day, we're all at the same table. We have differing views, yes, but we will accomplish nothing by pointing fingers, or worse, leaving this metaphorical table when someone inevitably disagrees with us.

The perpetrators of these attacks are seeking to create division, and right now they are winning. We must unite in the face of tragedy to keep things like this from happening. It can be done. "United we stand; divided we fall."

Reckless Love

By now, I'm sure most people who listen to Christian radio or are involved in the Christian community at all have heard of the controversy surrounding Cory Asbury's song "Reckless Love." It has been referred to as the "How He Loves" of 2017. The controversy, as far as I am aware, concerns the use of the word "reckless" in reference to perfect love coming from a holy God. Many people believe that the negative connotations of the word are inappropriate for such a use.

I am a big fan of controversial word choice. I think it has the power to not only attract attention but also to make us think more deeply about what we believe and the words we use to describe it. I once wrote a blog post entitled "The God Delusion" (apparently the name of an atheist work that attempts to debunk the existence of God. Oops.). I'm not sure how controversial this word choice would have been if this atheist work did not exist, but in my mind, the word "delusion" connotes a belief that is simply not true. However, I was using it to refer to "blind faith," believing what you are told without doing your own research. I am not seeking to defend this choice of words right now (you can read the blog post here if you really want to), but I am simply saying that I am no stranger to controversy. Heck, Jesus himself used not only controversial words, but entire controversial ideas. But I digress.

Now for the real purpose of this entry: the meaning of the word "reckless" in the context of this song. Dictionary.com defines "reckless" as "utterly unconcerned about the consequences of some action; without caution; careless." Certainly describing God as careless is, itself, careless. But in this context, I don't think it means "careless" as much as "careFREE." God does not have to worry about potential negative consequences of his actions, because God creates those consequences. The first scripture that comes to mind as demonstrating this "recklessness" is, of course, Matthew 18:12-14 - the parable of the lost sheep - mentioned in the song. Leaving ninety-nine sheep to find one IS reckless; dying for someone knowing that they might not even acknowledge it IS reckless. And that is beautiful.

I interrupt this social media "fast" to bring you this (seasonally important) post on love

Love. We tend to throw that word around so much that it has almost lost its meaning. What is love, anyway? Is it a feeling? An action? A complete and total mystery? I don’t know about you, but as an INTJ, I don’t like the feeling of “wondering.” I need a precise definition of the word “love.” In this essay, I hope to accomplish just that, and personally, I want to put an end to my 26 years of wondering (seriously, how did I even make it this far without knowing?).

When the word “love” is used casually, speakers are often referring to different types of love, adding to the confusion surrounding the concept. This essay is intended to find a common denominator between all the uses of the word “love.” A common use of the word “love” simply refers to a strong sense of like. This is often used when referring to some inanimate object, e.g. “I love that song” or “I love pizza.” The word “love,” in this sense, can even refer to a person that the speaker does not know personally, often a celebrity. Of course, like, no matter how strong, is not love, but understanding of this use is important to the greater definition of love.

Humans are emotional beings, therefore love certainly has an emotional aspect: a passionate one that is often overlooked, attributed to only a specific type of love. One person can have differing degrees of passion in their love for different people, but that doesn’t mean that they love them more or less. This is seen in the (often incorrectly used) phrase “I love you, but I don’t have to like you.” Unfortunately, this phrase is often used to justify harboring negative feelings towards another because they have nominally fulfilled the “love” requirement. This, of course, brings us right back to the question of “what is love, anyway?” If I don’t like somebody, can I really truly “love” them?

The answer, in short, is yes. Love, essentially, is an action. It is putting someone’s needs before your own. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13, NASB) Such a great form of self-sacrifice is rare, but smaller acts of self-sacrifice can be performed daily, even for those we don’t necessarily like. But for them to truly be considered “love,” I think these sacrifices should be made willingly, and perhaps even enthusiastically.

So, now you’re probably thinking, “okay, Cole, I’ve read your explanation of the different parts of love, but what exactly is love? How can I concisely define it?” Well, unfortunately I don’t have an answer for you. I know that was the main point of this essay, and honestly, it is what I hoped to discover for myself when I began writing. Love is, and always will be, a sort of mystery. I believe love is one of those things that we will never fully understand until we meet the greatest Love face to face. But I hope this essay helped you find ways to practically love others and fulfil one of the greatest commandments in your daily life.